Last week I was talking about the work I have been doing with ancestral trauma and how I am moving through it. One of the most incredible things to me is that for years I avoided all things Holaucst. When asked to go to a movie with the theme I was an adamant no, museums, books all of it. So what switched?
In my family of origin, we would often talk about mass murder at the table. If you hung out with the Polak’s for any time, you heard the term: “What about the furniture?” What does this mean? When my family saw what was happening they decided that things were getting really bad and that it was time to leave in order to survive. When this question was put to relatives they responded with denial : it is not that bad” and concerns about what to do with homes, furniture, jobs, livestock and community. Which has lead to larger questions in my work with trauma about what are you willing to give up, live through, in order to thrive.
Many people in my office wonder why do I have to deal with this?. Why do I have to deal with this trauma now when it isn’t even mine, generational trauma? It happened years ago and has never bothered me before? It isn’t even really a big deal? Microtrauma ( think living in a culture where you have multiple microaggressions on a daily level or don’t feel supported in)
Our nervous system often responds to these things by creating neural pathways of a trauma response. Fight flight freeze or Fawn.
Lets go back to Washington Dc and the Haolocaust museum. The friends i traveled with were not able to come so I ended up going alone and scared to death. Sure thing first thing off the elevator I am watching a movie of dead bodies being, burnt, mass graves people getting shot etc. Of course I start crying and check out of my body. But I remember I have resources I can do this. First I call a friend who breathes with me on the phone and asks to hear my story. Essential tools for me breath, presence and feeling listened to. Once I have re-resourced myself with trepidation I slowly move through exhibits making sure I am staying present with myself and my family. There is always more to share however what is important to me here is realizing that I was able to stay fully present with myself through two museums about the incarceration, killing and ownersship of humans and not check out. For me that enormous. Yes I cried a lot at both museums. Yes I stopped and breathed with myself and used all the tools at my disposal and do you know what I realized at the end. We can do this! I can do this! Many people before us including my daily have been killed and many more may die but we got this.
How? Tools and Glimmer According to Polyvagal theory and Deb Dana, a licensed clinical social worker specialising in complex trauma and author of “The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy,” :
Glimmers refer to small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm.
When you are coming in for your regular attunements and or somatic coaching we are reorganizing your system to respond to glimmers not trauma!!